Inner struggle

Things haven't been all the grand lately. Well, I take that back..they have been for the most part, but there are moments when those sad or bad moods creep into my life.

I am having one of those right now. I feel bad. I feel like I am torn....there are so many people in my life that do so much for me and I feel like I don't or will never do enough to show them how much I appreciate them. I mean, I genuinely appreciate everyone that has done something for me ...in the past few weeks in particular. They know who they are..

I just feel bad...I don't have any special service to offer them...no skills..not even time. My life is so consumed with working til 5, then taking care of kids and household things, that at the end of the day, I am beat. I don't give enough time to Jason and that bothers me. I feel like I don't give enough time to the boys...and my parents, sister, brothers and extremely close friends? Don't eve get me started on that! I feel like I am drowning in a sea of never-ending PPD. I hate it.

I need a makeover...I need my niche' in life. I am tired of not feeling valued in certain regards..and that makes my performance there crappy...and that is NOT me!

I just hope that things fall into place soon...I feel so lost.

Much love.